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apr28.07

it's kind of nice being the one to whom everyone turns to for advice.

yes, i know, quite contrary to my previous entries, but there is reason to my random. when i rant about how people always spill to me, its because i'm overwhelmed at all the problems i'm expected to solve. but when there's the nice balance of my sanity to their insatiable curiosity, i am absolutely fine with it.

it also kind of lets me get away from my own problems for a little while, which is nice.

i like the fact that people look for me to turn to when they want advice/help/guidance/confidence-boosting. it makes me feel good about myself and it makes me realize that, no matter how much i try to deny it, i am appreciated. i guess i'm just trying to say that it's nice to know that people want, dare i say need me around for things that they consider important.

it's not that i seriously like lording information over people's heads, i just believe in the concept of sharing. if someone wants to honestly know something, no strings attached, then let them. if they need that information to help ease some kind of pain or mental anguish, then its my responsibility duty to help them.

so, apparently my relationship advice is the number one on most people's lists.

that's really not a problem for me. yeah, it sorta makes me sound like an absolute slutbag because of how i have this information, but i know that people sometimes just need help when dealing with loved ones. [trust me, i come from a family that is the epitomy of the word DYSFUNCTIONAL and i've survived, so i know how to deal.] and sometimes its not even whats wrong with the other person, its when the person who needs wants my help is just o-v-e-r-t-h-i-n-k-i-n-g the whole situation. and truly, everyone needs to vent once in awhile. i myself do it online where people can read it, but no one actually does, which is sort of comforting [i mean, its sort of satisfying that people can have the opportunity to peruse this blog at their leisure but they arent forced/coerced/pressured into doing so; it also saves me from having the pants [well, right now, skirt] scared straight off of me if someone does read it... kinda complicated, i know but its just this thing i feel].

so yeah. i am people's vent...-ilator haha. because i realize that most people are not like me, and they can't pour their hearts out to the soul-sucking, faceless, and none-too-loyal entity known as the internet. i guess its just a matter of preference; but i like it because it keeps the act of human interaction alive.

but going back to my original point, its really nice that people come to me to vent/rant/bitch/whine/complain/cry/ETC about their relationship[s]. i mean, the whole concept of v/r/b/w/c/c/ETC is stressing, but it gives me a nice esteem boost when people believe that i can actually help them out with the obstacles that are inhibiting them from [and note that i am putting quotations on this] "loving" the person that they're with.

but i'm totally fine with being everyone's ear, because [as sadistic as this sounds] its also sort of nice knowing that others peoples lives are just about as screwed up as mine.

and i'm not saying that there are problems that are worse or better off than mine; i believe that everyone has different problems and that they can't be rated or compared against each other because every mind reacts differently to situations.

i guess what i'm really just trying to say [in a long, degressive, conveluted sort of way] is that its nice to feel wanted, even if it is sometimes for a "used kleenex" kinda way.