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apr9.07

i've thought and pondered, then written and rewriteen this entry never really knowing what to say.

okay i just lied.

i know exactly what i need to say, but i cant quite put it into words that people [aside from myself] would understand.

i wish that things were different, and if i could go back, i would & i'd warn myself of what i were walking into. never have i felt so beyond and utterly underscribable, and my real friends KNOW how many times ive quoted that in my life, but this is the real thing.

it seems as though things arent going to get better any time soon & i feel like i cant even do anything about it.

i've done everything i could possibly think of.

ive avoided people, disregarded emails, turned off my cell, been permanently "away" on all forms of IM's.

&&& still ive yet to come to a modest conclusion.

ugh.

i want to get away from [all of] you.

bleh.